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Subject:A Bit of an Update
Time:11:00 pm
Current Mood:exhaustedexhausted

It seems such a long time since I posted anything that wasn't either a birthday or a chapter of 'Journey'. In fact, it's a long time since I posted anything so I decided it was time to remedy the situation.



Real Life
One of the reasons I haven't been able to post/comment as much as I want to is that my online time has been somewhat restricted by RL events, mainly concerning my 94-year old mother. I don't want to dwell on this too much as I come here to escape the stresses of RL, but she is now back living with us having been unable to cope with living alone. It's surprising just how much extra work this entails and I really don't feel very well-equipped to deal with looking after her, especially as she obviously has some dementia although we haven't actually been told that. It's not easy, especially as I feel constantly guilt-ridden because (1)I'm not selfless enough to go and live with her at her own house which I know is what she'd prefer and (2) because all this is affecting my husband's life so much and although he never complains I know he'd love for us to be able to go out more and go away on holiday this year. If only I had siblings to share the load.

'Journey'
For anyone following 'Journey' and wondering if the next chapter will ever materialise, the answer is 'yes', it is nearing completion and shouldn't be too long now. It's taking so long mainly because of the reasons given above but also because it is a particularly emotional chapter in Elijah's story, one which I really want to get right and not miss anything out, so I've probably spent a little longer on searching out and rereading old interviews etc.

Twitter
I really, really LOVE having Elijah on Twitter. I do hope he'll stay with it. It makes him seem closer somehow. I've now got into the habit of quite often replying to his tweets which may seem silly as there isn't a snowball's chance in hell of him replying, especially now that his following is growing so rapidly, but it gives me a thrill just to know that, as he scrolls through his many tweets, there's just a slim chance his eyes may rest for a moment on one of my replies!! It does feel, in a small way, like a means of communicating with him on a regular basis. I noticed a few days ago that his followers suddenly seem to increase at a huge rate - I wonder why that is.

The Romantics
I got fed up of waiting for 'The Romantics' to be released on dvd over here and bought it from the US. Fortunately our dvd player is multi-region. The only drawback is that I can't play it on my computer as I've used up all my region-changing allowance. And there's nothing like watching a dvd on the computer. This was something I discovered when I started working on 'Journey' and needed to do all those screencaps. Up to then I'd always watched dvds on the tv - I was astonished at just how much you miss by watching them that way, so many little details. When I'm watching E, that's very important;)

I've only been able to watch it once and can't say I was terribly impressed by the film in general. Needless to say, E was just divine and played his role perfectly but what a pity they didn't give him more screen time and at least try to develop his character a little. If you haven't read the book, you'd really have no idea where he's coming from. But my biggest disappointment - where was that tennis scene??? On the cutting room floor I suppose, unless I misunderstood those pics and the cast were playing tennis amongst themselves, but I doubt that. I was really looking forward to it:(

Christchurch
Like everyone, I've been greatly upset by the devastation in Christchurch. Of course, all LOTR fans have a special place for New Zealand in their hearts, but when you've been lucky enough to actually visit those places and then hear something like this it's so heartwrenching. We spent the final two days of our NZ holiday in Christchurch back in 2005. Although it is ... was ... a beautiful city, it was actually the least favourite of the places we visited simply because it was just so English, so very similar to many cities back home and it somehow drove it home to us that our wonderful holiday was coming to an end. We took several pics while we were there, here are just a few:

The iconic cathedral - I wonder if they'll try to restore it to its original state:






That little girl was one of a class of schoolchildren all wearing that same red uniform. They were gathered in this little park where we were sitting for a while. I hope they're all safe.



Thank goodness spring is coming. The crocuses are out and the daffs are almost in bloom, I love this time of year. Bye for now:)
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primula_baggins
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-01 11:21 pm (UTC)
Christchurch--so heartbreaking. :( I heard even Wellington had a 4.5 earthquake this morning--or sometime today/yesterday.

My hubby's father is 93, and it's been a horrible burden on him and his siblings for far too many years, now. It's one of those situations where there just is no easy answer. It seems so unfair that life must be so hard when one is that old. :( Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with you on that front, hon.

The Romantics was just a waste of time, effort and money. It should never have been made, IMO.

I hope things ease up for you. I'm glad you get a little joy out of Elijah's tweets. :-) I look forward to a new chapter of Journey.

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not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 09:58 pm (UTC)
>>I heard even Wellington had a 4.5 earthquake this morning<<

Oh no! It must be really scary living with that constant possibility - but I don't need to tell you that!!

I seem to remember you saying your husband had to go away for long periods to stay with his father - that must be so hard. It's really difficult for everyone involved in these situations. You desperately want to make life as easy as possible for your parent/s when they're at their most vulnerable, but it shouldn't mean having to sacrifice your own life and needs. You're right, there is no easy answer.

Sadly, I think you're probably also right about The Romantics:(
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shirebound
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-01 11:32 pm (UTC)
*waves and hugs*
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not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 09:58 pm (UTC)
*waves and hugs back* :)
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aliensouldream
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-01 11:48 pm (UTC)
So sorry to hear things have been tough. You do so much for fandom and the work of 'Journey' is just tremendous.

I have a copy of something called AnyDVD which I think I could zip and send, if you wanted to PM me an email address. If you run it prior to watching a DVD on your computer, it unlocks the region decoding, even if you've maxed it out.
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not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 10:01 pm (UTC)
>>I have a copy of something called AnyDVD which I think I could zip and send<<

Wow, that'd be wonderful if you could - I've never heard of this before. Will PM you - many thanks:)
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(Deleted comment)

not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 10:02 pm (UTC)
Many thanks for your kind comments, Mews:)

*hugs*
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jan_u_wine
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 01:57 am (UTC)
Dear Paulie...so sorry to hear that RL is being so difficult.... I don't know what your social services are like there, but we have social workers here who will come into the home (sometimes several times a week) and relieve the family so that they can get out in these situations. This journey will be so difficult for you and your family. I hope that you can and will do things for *you*. And I hope that you will lose the guilt....such a negative and draining feeling when you've enough to deal with.

When my mother was in her final months, it just became so difficult to keep on going. But something a nurse said at the hospital (where my mom had been taken when she had a stroke) struck me. Far from being horrified or put off by my dying mom, the nurse saw what was unfolding as another part of life. She saw it as beautiful, all of the various aspects of the person who was leaving. Although I couldn't quite see all of this through my own pain, it touched me deeply and I determined to approach my mother thereafter not only with love (which I had been demonstrating, but in a somber, restrained sort of way), but with joy. Life IS an adventure, that was the message. It helped me then, both personally and in terms of helping my mom be easeful.

I am SO looking forward to another section of "Journey". Waiting will only increase my happiness when you post. Please do take your time!

It is such a coincidence that you should post that picture of the church. I rec'd an email yesterday from a friend in NZ, and one thing she mentioned was (i believe) the same church you were wondering about. Here is an excerpt from her e:



".... Nearly all of the old, heritage buildings that our dear ancestors built in stone, to remind them of merry England, are complete write-offs. They say they will rebuild the cathedral, which is the heart of the city, but many other beautiful churches are gone forever...."

Incredibly sad.

Re The Romantics....ummmm....I rented it last week from Redbox. I'm glad I only spent a dollar on that....


please do take care, dear Paulie. Many good thoughts go out to you and yours. with love to you, jan
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not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 11:07 pm (UTC)
Many thanks for your kind comments Jan. Our Social Services will provide carers in the home when an old person is living alone, my mom had two per day before she came to live with us. I don't think they'll come in when an old person is living with their family though. They will help with what is called respite care. That means arranging for the person to go into a care home while the carers go away on holiday. I can't really see my mom agreeing to that but we're hoping she may change her mind. You're right about the guilt - it is incredibly draining. And very difficult to get rid of!

I'm glad that nurse was such an inspiration to you during your own difficult time with your mom. I'm sure there's a lot of truth in what she said and it's to her credit that she was able to help you so much with her wise words.

Re Christchurch, I'm relieved to hear that they will rebuild the cathedral - I thought they most probably would, it was really the main landmark of that city. When they do, I hope they'll be able to make it more resistant to earthquakes - that goes for all the rebuilding of course. It's all so sad.

Yes, The Romantics was a great disappointment. But being the hopeless (and incredibly ancient) fangirl that I am, I just HAVE to own every film Elijah is part of. I even have the ghastly 'Black & White', for heaven's sake!!!

Again, many thanks for your kind thoughts & words Jan:)
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ladysnaps
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 02:41 am (UTC)
i know it's tough taking care of your mom, and it's never an easy thing to do. is there anyone else (a good friend) that can help out from time to time?

i too am glad elijah has taken such a liking to twitter. and to think he spent so much time away from it. i wonder what goes through his mind when he decides which one of us he'll answer to? maybe your lucky day will be coming. i agree about the romantics and elijah's need to have more screen time.

is that really the church? i've only seen it in the state it's in now. what a beautiful structure... now gone. they just have to rebuild it to the way it was. the whole thing in NZ is hard to believe and it really must hit home for you since you've been there.

it's good to hear about you on the RL and the "other things" front.
(Reply) (Thread)


not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 11:21 pm (UTC)
>>is there anyone else (a good friend) that can help out from time to time?<<

I suppose the obvious choice would be our 2 children, especially as our son still lives with us. But I'm very reluctant to burden them with this - they both work very hard and long hours and it would mean asking them to sacrifice some of their own annual holiday to be able to look after my mom while we go away. We're hoping we may be able to persuade her to stay in a care home just for a short time if we can possibly find a decent, affordable place.

>>i wonder what goes through his mind when he decides which one of us he'll answer to?<<

I've wondered that too. I think it's probably quite random but sadly as his following increases it makes it more unlikely. I think if he ever did answer one of my tweets I'd probably have a heart attack!!

Yes, it's the cathedral - probably the main landmark of Christchurch. Apparently they are going to rebuild it - thank goodness. Let's hope there's some way they can make it more resistant to earthquakes:)

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frolijah_fan_54
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 03:41 am (UTC)
Hi Paulie - it's wonderful to get an update from you.

No wonder you're so busy when you're taking care of you Mom. Caring for someone with dementia is stressful - I hope you are able to get some breaks for yourself. Here in the US we have Adult Day Care centers where elderly people can spend the day while their family members work or do errands. And it gives the elderly person a chance to socialize. Do they have anything like that in the UK?

Your chapters of Journey are worth waiting for so don't stress about it!!

I'm not on Twitter so I don't reply to Elijah's tweets - but I bet it does make you feel closer to him!! It has been interesting to see what he tweets about.

The Romantics - I agree with you that the movie itself was so so but I really enjoyed Elijah in it. It was something different for him and I thought he did a great job. I loved his drunken speech!! More screen time would have been great.

Christchurch - thanks for those pics. I've never been but have seen pics of the cathedral before and after the quake - it's so sad. It must be even sadder for people like you who've actually been there and seen the city.

Thanks for the update!!
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not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-03 05:13 pm (UTC)
>>we have Adult Day Care centers where elderly people can spend the day<<

We do have the same sort of thing over here although many of them are now being closed due to spending cuts. We've tried to get my mom to go to one, perhaps just once a week to give her a chance to socialise, but she's never been keen. Fortunately we're able to leave her for short periods of time so we're not completely housebound - but we wouldn't be able to stay anywhere overnight.

I agree, it's fascinating to see what E tweets about and I really enjoy this insight into his thoughts and opinions on various things.

I did love the drunken speech - highlight of the movie for me!! Oh, and I quite enjoyed the bathing scene;)

Many thanks for your comments:)
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(Anonymous)
Subject:The crocuses are out
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 06:06 am (UTC)
Are they? Not around here :( *Envies you*

Please please be positive that every chapter of Journey is a gift whenever it pops up. And as others have mentioned: do take your time!! I don't want the journey to end too soon. I also wonder what is so particularly emotional about the next chapter.

I must admit I don't know anything about Mr. Wood appearing on twitter or in the movie "Romantics". Maybe he is in a Frodo bubble for me. Which I'm sure no actor would like to hear... Sorry Frodo, erm Elijah, but you've been so perfect.

Christchurch. I have been there only twice yet and - unlike you - I loved it because it IS so British. Maybe I just needed a dose of solid brick houses. Well, not so solid as it seems, and it won't be the last earthquake either. I take comfort from the fact that the Kiwis are there for their mates. They are so roll-your-sleeves-up and caring, they really are.

Real Life - your Mom. 94 - this is a proud age! And a lonely age - most of her friends aren't there anymore. I hope that you will soon find institutions you trust that can provide solid support. *Hugs you*

Thank you for your "bit of an update", dear NotAlone

Anne










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not_alone
Subject:Re: The crocuses are out
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-03 05:23 pm (UTC)
Yep, in fact they've been out for some time!!

>>I also wonder what is so particularly emotional about the next chapter.<<

It centres on the final pick-ups for ROTK ... and Elijah's final scene.

>>Maybe he is in a Frodo bubble for me. Which I'm sure no actor would like to hear... Sorry Frodo, erm Elijah, but you've been so perfect. <<

I honestly don't think he minds the fact that he will be Frodo forever to so many - in fact he seems to embrace it.

Yes, it's only too true that there will be more earthquakes in NZ - in fact someone told me there was one in Wellington just a couple of days ago. Let's just hope there will be none on this scale again.

Many thanks for your comments, Anne:)



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elijahs_mumble
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 01:47 pm (UTC)
As others said do take your time to work on Journey, I'm really looking forward to a new chapter; I hope you can find energy and strenght to keep taking care of your mother.

I feel the same way about Elijah on Twitter. At first, I used to think hard about things I could tweet that would caught his attention and would make him reply to me, but he was recently asked by a fan about the end of LOTR, and he answered, so, I think he just replies randomly (By the way, it made me feel dissappointed that his reply about the end of LOTR wasn't correct).

That's a shame about The Romantics. I downloaded it, but only to make screencaps from it, for E_F; I noticed that he got very little screen time, and I'm too wondering about the Tennis scenes!. I guess the DVD doesn't come with deleted scenes?.

That's so sad about Christchurch. Thanks for sharing your pics.

Stay well,

Patrick
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not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-03 05:40 pm (UTC)
>>At first, I used to think hard about things I could tweet that would caught his attention ... so, I think he just replies randomly <<

I agree. At first I was really nervous about tweeting him - I thought I'd feel slighted if he didn't reply but then I realised just how many tweets he must get and that it was silly to even expect a reply. Like you, I was very careful about my first few tweets but after a while I just started tweeting/replying whenever I felt like it. Where fans are concerned, I think he just replies randomly too - it just takes something to catch his eye as he's scrolling through. And that ScottWeinberg doesn't help matters - filling up the page with his millions of tweets!!! (I do follow him though - he's a cat-lover like me!). I was glad E answered an LOTR-themed tweet but I agree he needs to be spanked for getting it wrong. (I'm first in the queue!) You never know, one of these days one, or hopefully both, of us may get a reply from E just like Overlithe - the trouble is, I think I'll probably have a heart attack!!

No, no deleted scenes on The Romantics dvd. I did enjoy his drunken speech - hightlight of the film for me. And the bathing scene was interesting;)

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mole_caz
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 02:30 pm (UTC)
Am thinking of you and can empathize with your situation. Hang on in there xx
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not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-03 09:32 pm (UTC)
Thanks Moley. Whenever I find myself in self-pitying mode I always remind myself that my troubles are very small compared to many others. You have far more to cope with than me and I'm always full of admiration for you - I think I'd have caved in long before now. xx
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janejanejane
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-02 08:52 pm (UTC)
I can quite understand you feelings about your Mum. It does make a difference when you don't have siblings and have to care for elderly parents on your own.

Great pics of Christchurch, but I bet it looks utterly different now. I hope they are able to rebuild at least the really iconic landmarks but with greater earthquake resistance if that's possible. On the Red Carpet Tours we had only an overnight stay so we didn't spend much time there, but it was one place we would have liked to visit again for longer if we ever could afford to return to NZ.

We can wait for your next chapter of *Journey* :-)

I'm not on Twitter myself, but I can see the attraction of being able to *Tweet* Elijah!

We still don't have *The Romantics* and from what you say we can wait until it's available in the UK...

Good to see you here and thanks for your update!
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not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-03 09:41 pm (UTC)
Thanks Jane - you're right, having siblings can make all the difference in the world in this sort of situation.

It's very difficult to think of that beautiful city lying in ruins. I've heard that they are going to rebuild the cathedral - and as you say, let's hope they can make it more resistant to earthquakes. I do wonder what sort of impact this will have on tourism over there - I have to admit that, much as I long to go back, this has made me a little nervous. I suppose it's something that will lessen with the passage of time.

Yes, I wouldn't get too excited about 'The Romantics' although there are a couple of scenes featuring E that make it all worthwhile:)
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msilverstar
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-04 06:38 am (UTC)
I'm just going to echo everyone else and say how glad I am that you're still around. Also that you deserve a respite, my mom took care of my stepfather for years and if she hadn't had some breaks it would have been awful. You don't deserve any guilt for wanting a chance to get away!
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not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-05 03:06 pm (UTC)
Many thanks - your comments are much appreciated:)
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yeuxdebleu
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-05 02:44 am (UTC)
I am a big fan of cathedrals, owning many books about them and having over a thousand pics on my computer. It was so sad to see these pics of the cathedral you show above.





...and this cathedral, too.





I'm sorry about your mother having to live with you now. I can imagine how disruptive it is caring for someone that old and with dementia, too.

Regarding The Romantics, I've seen it and thought it was dreadful. Elijah being in it was the only good thing about it.

Do you have the VLC player downloaded on your computer? If not, you should. It doesn't recognise regions so can play all DVDs. I recently got a HUGE hi-def monitor and now my computer is the only place I want to watch movies. It just occurred to me a few days ago that I should watch the LOTR movies on it. They will be breathtaking.


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not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-05 03:17 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the pics. It does appear that only certain parts of these cathedrals were destroyed so it shouldn't be too much of a massive job to restore them, hopefully.

Yes, The Romantics was rather dire. Such a pity:(

>>Do you have the VLC player downloaded on your computer?<<

Nope, don't think I've heard of it before - I will investigate. When I first watched LOTR on my computer I kept seeing things I'd missed before. For instance, during Bilbo's party I quite often caught sight of Frodo in the background where I just hadn't noticed him when watching on the tv!


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bellewood
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-05 03:56 pm (UTC)
I meant to reply to this days ago, but ..

It's good to hear from you again. I'm sorry to hear that your mother isn't well. I can only imagine how difficult it must be especially as you don't have any siblings to help out. But you shouldn't feel guilty ( easier said than done i know..) You're doing all that you can and that's what counts.

Ah, Twitter. You've taken the words right out of my mouth when you say " I really, really LOVE having Elijah on Twitter. I do hope he'll stay with it. It makes him seem closer somehow"
That's EXACTLY how i feel. Just reading 'his' words makes me feel warm inside, you know, even though i don't reply much.. ( i'm still not really comfortable with Twitter somehow!) And from some of his comments i think that sometimes he forgets that the whole of his fandom is watching.. lol, especially when responding to the lovely ladies at meinmyplace ;) It's the perfect place for him to promote his charities, and his music. Long may it continue!

I haven't seen The Romantics and it makes me really sad that the reviews are so negative. I'd heard that the tennis scenes had been cut.. what a disappointment! I'll get it eventually though.. how can i resist a drunken Elwood :)

Your pictures are neautiful. It's a terrible thing that's happened. I hope they can find the strength to get through and rebuild.

I haven't updated in ages either. I really should do something about that .. soon :/
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yeuxdebleu
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-05 11:44 pm (UTC)
I'd heard that the tennis scenes had been cut.. what a disappointment!

I'd heard that, too, before I saw it and I hoped it would be included in "Deleted Scenes" on the DVD, but there weren't any. :'( I'm glad we at least had some pics of him on the court. I wonder who he was playing tennis with in that scene.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


mechtild
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-06 09:11 pm (UTC)
Sorry I'm so late to my f-list, Paulie. I am glad to hear what's going on, but not glad for a lot of what's going on for you at home. Caring for the aged really is demanding, of every sort of energy, and you've certainly been doing more than your share. I've tried to get my mom to come live with us for eleven years, because I didn't want to keep flying back and forth to where she lives. She won't come, hating our cold and wanting to "pop off" where she is. So I go out there for a month a year (spread over two or three trips), taking care of her, alternating with my sister, who goes the same amount of time. My brother lives in her area and does a lot for her, but he has a business to run and can't be there day in, day out. If she had only one child looking after her, what a lot that would be for that one child. No wonder you feel so stretched. I hope you can continue to cope. You are a trooper!

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not_alone
Link:(Link)
Time:2011-03-07 09:24 pm (UTC)
Many thanks Mechtild. I can see from your situation that, even when you have siblings, problems still arise if a long distance is involved. It's all so difficult but I'm sure we shall survive!! When I do find myself having the occasional wallow in self-pity, I remind myself how much worse things could be. Sadly, at our age, too many of our peers are struggling with serious health issues.

Completely changing the subject, are you aware that LJ is taking a very long time to send email notifications of posts and replies to comments? And I believe missing some out completely. I thought I'd just mention it as I don't think everyone knows.
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[icon] A Bit of an Update - NotAlone
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